Do not use this product

Do not use this product
if you have heart disease,
liver problems, high blood pressure,
persistent cough or chronic
breathing problems.

Also not a good idea if you
are pregnant or breast-feeding,
taking drugs for depression,
psychiatric or emotional conditions,
if you have Parkinson’s disease,
or if you just want your kids to go to sleep.

If you do decide to take this
product, do not drink alcohol,
drive, or operate heavy machinery.
Try to avoid people with whom
you may be tempted to get into a
fight, as you will be darn irritable.

Keep out of the reach of children,
both you and these pills. Do not
take more than directed. If you do,
contact the Poison Control Center
right away, at the number unfortunately
obscured by the price tag on the right.

Then again, if you have managed
to read this far, you’re probably
going to pull through.


About Andrew Kreider

I'm a poet and musician,transplanted from London, England to beautiful northern Indiana. By day I am a stay-at-home dad with our three kids while my amazingly talented spouse conquers medical school one long shift at a time. At night, I'm a performer and trouble-maker. I love my life.

11 responses »

  1. hahaha…so true man the side affects make it almost not worth it to take medication these days…i think we may just be screwing ourselves up more

  2. hahahaha yes side affects galore seem to be on everything in every store. Most medication is garbage anyway, fun verse here today.

  3. It is crazy how many of those commercials on are these days. It's almost all that you see. Crazy times we live when pharmaceutical companies are just legal drug-pushers 😦

  4. since I[m about to take my second vicodin of the night, this really made me chuckle. Don't take anything, but you need it. See the second down poem at my blog for a tribute to MJ. xxxj

  5. Touche".. it amazes me all the "warning" signs on certain things and I think, well, damn I'll be better off write!!

  6. wow this is great especially on TV now they advertise so much and then tell of the effects afterwards makes you not want to take this at all

  7. I've always wondered why the creators of miracle cures invest so much air time to convince us not to use them… Nicely done send up of the marketers.

  8. lovely advice delivered in a fun way.way to go.

  9. hahahahaaha…… so very true…….! Snake oil, all of them……

  10. Made me laugh. You captured the pomposity of the "instructions" and warnings on those labels. Exactly right! My favorite potential side effect on many of these prescription potions is, of course, DEATH!

  11. fun humor.welcome joining poets rally week 53 today.a free verse is accepted.visit me to see the agreement, leave your entry via comment if you don't know how to submit via inlinkz yet.


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