Monthly Archives: April 2014

Fergie’s Wake

This season, I’ve been watching developments at Manchester United with amazement.  They say you should never follow a legend, and this seems to have held true for David Moyes, brought in as the hand-picked successor to Sir Alex Ferguson.  According to press reports today, Moyes is on the chopping block after his aging side has been found out in high-profile match after match.  Here’s a short piece dedicated to those destined to fail, and the music of footballing nicknames.

 

Fergie’s Wake

So maybe he wasn’t the chosen one,
running around after a legend
with scarcely enough paper for the cracks.
The experiment went off in curious rhyme.

Fergie wanted Moyesy, and Moyesy
bought Fellaini – partly to replace Scholesy –
but it was a waste of money. Up front van Persie
was a shadow, and no one heard from Rooney.

And now they’ve lost to Stevie G,
it’s curtains – time for Giggsy.
He’ll go back to basics, set the rhythm,
put the world back how it’s supposed to be.

 

Since I gave up chocolate for Lent

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A little Lenten silliness to start National Poetry Month. 
This one’s in the form of a villanelle.

 

Since I gave up chocolate for Lent

I can’t tell you how much money I’ve spent
on things that are frankly awful for me
since I gave up chocolate for Lent.

I’ve purchased eighteen cheese cakes, blew the rent
money on baklava and gin – honestly,
I can’t tell you how much money I’ve spent,

but it’s been huge. I doubt Father Bill meant
it to go this way, but my friends agree:
since I gave up chocolate for Lent

I’ve gone downhill. This cocoa fast has sent
me to the mall to dull my misery.
I can’t tell you how much money I’ve spent,

but I’ve gained sixty pounds and put a dent
in my 401k. Screw charity,
since I gave up chocolate for Lent

I have lost all virtue. I’m hell-bent
on survival. God, bring Easter quickly!
I can’t tell you how much money I’ve spent
since I gave up chocolate for Lent.

 

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