This season, I’ve been watching developments at Manchester United with amazement. They say you should never follow a legend, and this seems to have held true for David Moyes, brought in as the hand-picked successor to Sir Alex Ferguson. According to press reports today, Moyes is on the chopping block after his aging side has been found out in high-profile match after match. Here’s a short piece dedicated to those destined to fail, and the music of footballing nicknames.
Fergie’s Wake
So maybe he wasn’t the chosen one,
running around after a legend
with scarcely enough paper for the cracks.
The experiment went off in curious rhyme.
Fergie wanted Moyesy, and Moyesy
bought Fellaini – partly to replace Scholesy –
but it was a waste of money. Up front van Persie
was a shadow, and no one heard from Rooney.
And now they’ve lost to Stevie G,
it’s curtains – time for Giggsy.
He’ll go back to basics, set the rhythm,
put the world back how it’s supposed to be.
Penguin Poems 
