Sonnet: Talking on the phone to the mother of two pre-schoolers


Written with the greatest admiration for anyone who works at home looking after small children. How y’all get anything done is a minor miracle. Apart from, you know, EVERYTHING which you somehow squeeze into those odd 30-second snatches of free time.


Sonnet: Talking on the phone to the mother of two pre-schoolers

…so maybe we could all do a picnic
next Tuesday, unless Lauren has a thing
(don’t put that there). Let me give you a ring
when Jack gets up from his nap – he was sick
yesterday at church, you know. (Do NOT pick
at that scab). (Tomato juice). What? Oh, bring
him over, sure. He can practice climbing
the back steps. (Don’t hit Rufus with that stick).

Books? Are you kidding? Like ones with a plot?
(That’s beautiful! Don’t lick your brother’s nose).
By now I’d gladly trade everything by
Anne Tyler for a shower alone. Not
even with Brad Pitt! Ha ha…. that just shows
why I got him fixed! (Pickles). Oh Lord – bye!



About Andrew Kreider

I'm a poet and musician,transplanted from London, England to beautiful northern Indiana. By day I am a stay-at-home dad with our three kids while my amazingly talented spouse conquers medical school one long shift at a time. At night, I'm a performer and trouble-maker. I love my life.

13 responses »

  1. Andrew–I’m laughing so hard, milk would come out my nose if I was drinking it…Wonderful!!

  2. ha. this is def the life…i was home with my boys all summer and and keeping an autistic boy…and trying to do all the housework to give my wife a break since she was still working…fun way to work a sonnet

  3. sheryl kay oder

    My favorite part is “Don’t lick your brother’s nose.” I guess there is no way to develop a rule against that until it has happened.;-) I was blessed, having only two kids who got along well. They were four and a half years apart, which helped.

  4. I’m all about trying to have conversations on the phone while watching the kids. I had only my daughter Riley, but when her two cousins, Matt and Casey, would come over, it was chaos incarnate. Thanks for bringing back great memories of love amidst cacophony! So damned funny. Amy

  5. This brings back so many memories of talking to my friends when our children where little and even still! We could never have a full conversation on both sides! So cute and hilarious! Love it!

  6. ha smiles…real life….i’ve been at home for years with three kids and a fourth for the day…oy… sometimes i felt like i should grow another 4 pair of hands…ha…smiles

  7. What fun. I love poems like that that draw from the chaos of everyday life. I like the balancing act of layered talk, can’t quite call it conversation.

  8. Ha ha ha, I’ve been in that position many a time. I think they start playing up as soon as they see you on the phone – because you are not giving them your full attention, I suppose. I apologise now to all my friends for driving them insane…
    This is pure genius:
    By now I’d gladly trade everything by
    Anne Tyler for a shower alone.

  9. very cute, but you missed the most important line “can’y you see I’m on the phone?” LOL

    Dance to the Moulin Rouge

  10. I laughed out loud – awesome write, so true to life… & who would have thought the subject matter would lend itself so easily to the sonnet form? Well done!

  11. This is it exactly! Wonderful write!

  12. “That’s beautiful! Don’t lick your brother’s nose”

    Wait, what?

    That part made me do a double take, and made me chuckle doubly hard.. wonderful way to cheer up, no doubt….

  13. Oh, my. This reminds me of a few people. Very realistic.


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