A vegetable fable

This summer, I’ve had the chance to do some “lightning poetry” on the streets of Elkhart.  During the July ArtWalk, I was given a strategic spot on Main Street, from which I would accost passers-by and ask if they had one minute to listen to a poem.  If they said yes, I gave them a choice: silly or serious, and would then select a poem for them from one of two folders, based on that preference.   It was amazing to see people’s reactions.  Some ignored me, or even told me to leave them alone – made me feel like a street evangelist, which I sort of was, I suppose.  But others were delighted to be approached and listened/responded with enthusiasm.  The highlight for me was the two burly biker dudes who asked for a serious poem and then engaged me in conversation about the meaning of life.  Priceless.

Anyway, the most popular poem of the day was a silly one that re-tells the Cinderella story using vegetables.  Here it is – imagine you’re on a street corner as I read it to you…


A vegetable-fable

Cinderella was a Brussels sprout
the kind of snack you only think about
occasionally, like when the cupboard’s bare
or Christmas guests appear from who-knows-where
and you are caught short-handed.

Her sisters were the prize zucchinis,
tightly stuffed in mink bikinis
tanning on the castle lawn
while Cinders worked till dusk from dawn
doing the jobs that she was handed.

But then Prince Charming, that great star fruit, paid a call
and planted the idea of a ball.
The bully-girls thought they’d be most appealing
They had no idea they’d be dealing
with their sister, who, to be candid,

was more delicious to the eye
than they. They were left alone to cry
like onions when she stole the prince and left a clue
at midnight – with a single crystal shoe
the heart-sore lover-boy was handed.

The story ends, as all good meals do,
With sweetness to top off this most romantic stew.
Our heroine delicious, ripe and pure
Outlasted both her sisters, rotten to the core
At least, that’s how I’m told this fruit-and-veggie fairy tale ended…



About Andrew Kreider

I'm a poet and musician,transplanted from London, England to beautiful northern Indiana. By day I am a stay-at-home dad with our three kids while my amazingly talented spouse conquers medical school one long shift at a time. At night, I'm a performer and trouble-maker. I love my life.

7 responses »

  1. Oh I love Cinderella! And actually, I do love Brussels sprouts also. Mink bikinis on zucchinis–you are such a clever poet 🙂 This is one of my new favorites too

  2. Hahaa!!!! i love your vegetable fable, and of course Cinders!!

  3. Andrew…you, quite seriously ROCK! What a fantastic tale to share with us…I love the thought of the bikers (kind of speaks to the way I roll 😉 ) and I can see you sharing this, and the smiles it must have won. LOVE it!

  4. i ahve this picture stuck in my head now of zucchini in mink bikinis…how am i ever going to be rid of that…haha…fun piece…and so cool on taking poetry to the streets…that is awesome!

  5. I do wish I had been there! I love the zany fun of this fable.

  6. Would have loved to have been there, Andrew. This is so cute! You are an inspiration!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: