I’m having fun learning my way around a poetic form called the Luc Bat.  It alternates lines of 6 and 8 syllables, with a rhyme scheme pushing forward on the 6th and 8th syllables.  It goes as follows:

Robert Lee Brewer wrote a great introduction to this form over at Poetic Asides.

Here’s an example from me – based on a true story.  Every so often, the weight room at the YMCA is thrown into confusion by the arrival of someone who obviously doesn’t need to be working out at all…



Those iridescent blue-
green running shorts, on view in glass
around the room could pass
for rainbows. As the class proceeds
with weights, two shining beads
moisten her neck. She needs to get
a towel and I let
my mind wander. Her set of flies
is next. I notice guys
changing their exercise routine
in ways I’ve never seen
so they can watch that lean body
arch magnificently.
She’s on the mat now, three sets of
crunches, arms raised above
her head, and I would love to know
if she means this floor show
to cause such a commotion. She
is everywhere, yet we
all pretend not to see. Somewhere,
someone drops a weight, their
muffled curse breaks the air, and we
regain reality.
I glance across and see the door
flash. Thank god, she’s off for
a run, to torture poor souls out
on the ball field without
even knowing about it… Wow.



About Andrew Kreider

I'm a poet and musician,transplanted from London, England to beautiful northern Indiana. By day I am a stay-at-home dad with our three kids while my amazingly talented spouse conquers medical school one long shift at a time. At night, I'm a performer and trouble-maker. I love my life.

One response »

  1. Andrew, beautifully done! The gym scene can be such a source of entertainment–I’m sure she knew exactly what she was doing 😉


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